Fighting Resistance
Have you ever experienced aching muscles after lifting weights or moving boxes? You know how out of shape you are when the pain is even worse on the second day. This resistance is nothing compared to the battle we face when we try to do something very important with our lives. Heads up! Get ready for a fight.
Resistance is created when we do hard things. These hard things are not limited to lifting a heavy weight using physical strength. It also occurs when we are using mental and emotional strength like when we are doing something our minds tell us is impossible. To overcome the mental block we have to face this resistance and use it to our advantage.
I despised resistance. I felt it as I stood on the scale, frowning. The dreaded number flashed white, my weight had skyrocketed through the last few months before our resignation. I knew what I had to do and yet I felt it.
Have you felt the barrier of resistance?
Some of the best surprises in life happen when we fight through the heavy dragging feelings proceeding the accomplishment of our goals. This high-hanging fruit is out of reach, and we must find new ways to gain this reward.
I am facing such resistance right now in writing this book. I have said for years now, I want to write a book (insert eye roll), but now that I have surpassed the first draft I am hitting a wall.
What does resistance look like?
For me, it is waking up in the morning reminded of the task, I must write, today. There is dread. I choose to fight the urge to just stay in bed with the pillows over my head. The rapid heartbeat and deep breaths come as I ponder the fear rising every time I think about the risks involved in the goal.
What if I fail?
Questioning my task can get me looking around for anything else to do rather than sitting down and battling through the fear. Yesterday I cleaned my teenage daughter’s room. It is her responsibility but I became very passionate about refolding her clothes and making her dresser drawers neat and tidy. Super Mom! No, not in the slightest, it was just an effort to get away from the frustration. Side-tracking myself does not decrease the resistance. The resistance waits for me at the keyboard. It is like the Grim Reaper waiting to kill my dreams with one slash of its scythe.
Have you been there?
The real question we must ask when we feel the temptation to give in to the resistance is:
How badly do we want this?
If I don't finish this book right now or ever will it really matter? The answer is, “Yes” it will matter if I don’t succeed in this goal. It will matter if you don’t pursue your goal too. Even if no one else is counting on you or me, it will matter, to us. I may not be needed in the literary world just yet, but I am counting on myself. My children and their future children are counting on me to persevere too. I have a dream, and I believe it is God-given.
I have fought resistance in the past. Graduating from high school and college are good examples. Landing a career in music and becoming an ordained minister were not accomplished without a battle. I am a wife and mother which is no cakewalk at times. The list of examples could go on, and if you took a moment, right now, you would have your own story of breakthroughs and victories to share. But resistance does not retire.
If I’m honest I must admit, I have pondered getting soft.
I have listened to the cunning whispers: “Do you really have to do anything more with your life? Haven't you done enough?”
We have to silence those taunting questions. We have to stand up on the inside and say to our reflection in the mirror, “My story matters, and it will take hard work to see what is beyond the bend, but I am not sitting down any longer. I have a few more hours of daylight to get up this mountain so I can enjoy the glorious sunset from the tip-top. It will be breathtaking, I just know it!”
What are you called to right now?
I can only assume you are facing a challenge, and doubt lingers there. Can I encourage both you and me to face that ugly bully, Resistance?
Steven Pressfield shares a key truth about this bully in his book, The War of Art: Break through the blocks and win Your Inner Creative Battles.
“Resistance has no strength of its own. Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us. We feed it with power by our fear of it. Master fear and we conquer Resistance ”
Don’t give up my friend. On the other side of this invisible battle is the joy of accomplishment. We all need this. Facing our fears means facing the possibility of failure. This is a slippery slope for me. It is easy to fall into reminding myself of history.
I was a B student in school. I had a tendency to procrastinate because I didn’t believe I could actually be an A student. I wasn’t smart enough. Anxiety hurt my test scores. This is the familiar resistance I face every day. It is tempting to feel the shame of perfectionism and throw up my hands in surrender saying, “This is all I got.”
In the Christian walk, I have warred with negative thoughts. From the beginning, I didn’t believe that God would really use my life for much. I said things like, “I’m going to be bad at this,” or “I am not good enough.” I had resistance in my self-perception. I had kept a diary of past screw-ups and failures. I had a lot of evidence to believe the negative words I heard in my head.
Then there was the question, was it the devil or me listing the reasons why it would never work out? Whoever it was, I found myself trapped. This is the mental resistance I found the sneakiest to spot and come against. When it is our own voices whispering the doubts it is easy to become confused. Caution warns us: don’t walk on the frozen pond, you have tried before and ended up with an icy leg of muddy water. This verse has helped me shake off the discouragement and get moving.
“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. ”
When I remember this verse I recall the trembling college student driving through traffic in St. Louis. I remember the first time I stepped on the platform to sing a solo in church. God was faithful to meet me there and help me through. He will do it again, not only for me but for you.
Such recollections make me say, “Why not try it anyway? What is the sense of adventure if there isn’t a risk?” I have labeled this part of me, the wild girl: she has a name, but I won’t say it in case I actually publish this book and have to use her as my pen name:)
Resistance stinks! But it is real and we all must face it. If we are to ever be successful at any of our dreams we have to “put up our dukes!”
We’ve got to give that old bully a right hook to the jaw, remembering this…
We are worth the fight!
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