More than a Song

   I turned on the camera to my phone as I stood on the deck. The wind kept the 85-degree day manageable as I pressed record on the video. 

“I have an announcement to make, I have decided to teach voice lessons,” my voice boomed as I smiled.

   There was a long process to make the decision to teach again. Since January music has taken a back seat to writing. I went from full-time ministry to a few encouraging texts and an occasional phone call. In the reduction of my to-do list, I also felt the desire to sing had left me.

   In our basement sits my paternal grandmother’s piano. It is the only heirloom I have from her. If sold it wouldn’t bring much money, but it is priceless to me. Pressing its keys, I am reminded it needs tuning. Like this piano, I think people can get pulled out of tune. When circumstances shift and routine is halted it is easy to feel life go flat. The rhythm feels disjointed. I have felt out of tune in this season of change.

Have you ever been there? Finding yourself asking, what now?

   My decision to teach again came from two specific events. The first was a simple conversation with a singing friend a few months ago. Over the phone, we talked about the responsibility creatives have to work on their gifting. When you get paid to use your talent it is one thing, but when it is strictly on your own time one must decide if they want to cultivate the gift. In singing, as in any other form of creativity, if you don’t continue to use your pipes, you will get rusty. We agreed to do the work. We would be accountable to each other. Sadly after the phone conversation, very little changed. I was in a rut.

In a rut, how do we stir up creativity again?

The answer to my singing problem came by taking a chance. It was the Fourth of July. My daughter had signed up to compete in a talent show at a little town called Earlham. Upon arrival, we were surprised to find the city park filled with rides, food vendors, and people milling around. The temperature was past 90 degrees, but thankfully there was a breeze. She sang beautifully but unfortunately didn’t win. We were about to pack up to leave when a man sitting with his family leaned over to us to invite us to sing in the karaoke contest immediately following.

She looked at me to know what to say. I encouraged her to sing, but then she surprised me with, “I will Mom, if you sing too.”

I could feel the cobwebs on my vocal cords. I hadn’t been vocalizing much at all. I also felt the fear of possibly embarrassing myself. Her young brown eyes bore into my soul as I hesitated.

“Are you sure Lydia, you know many more songs?”

“Come on Mom! I’m not doing it unless you try it too.”

So that is how I signed up for the Earlham Freedom Festival Karaoke contest. I felt nervous, but I also felt excited to have an opportunity. I ended up picking out 2 songs. One I sang in the 7th-grade talent show, “Glory of Love” from the movie Beaches circa 1989, and the other, “Amazing Grace.”

As the show began, Lydia sang first in the first round. When they called my name I felt the rush of butterflies. Was I really going to do this? My song was Glory of Love, and I was glad there would be words on the screen. Thankfully the version I chose was slow so I had plenty of time to hold out notes and see what would be coming next. 

You’ve got to win a little

 Lose a little… 

As the words came, so did the feeling of freedom. Each phrase resonated from my heart where I had carried them all of these years. As a grown woman, the complexity of love was understood on a deeper level than the thirteen-year-old me could have comprehended. As I sang I could see my daughter cheering me on and I felt my confidence grow. 

Why had I stopped singing?

We sat in the shade as the other contestants performed. Her knees were shaking, and to be honest, so were mine, but there was something else too. I was feeling the joy of release. I was pouring out the creative gift from my soul. Each of us needs an opportunity to do this. When creativity is pent up we lose the sense of lighthearted adventure it gives us.

Have you been stuck? 

Has something happened to make you hesitant to try again?

Are you afraid of failure or not being good enough?

Such fears can have a serious grip on our ability to take the risk of using our giftedness, but on that day I was reminded how important it was to take a risk despite the fears.

For the final round, I was the second person to sing. As I stood on the stage waiting for the track to begin to Amazing Grace I prayed it was in a good key. Taking a deep breath I started into the first line. As the words came, so did the passion to deliver them. The key was perfect for my alto vocal range. 

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound…

The depth of meaning swirled around in my mind as I thought about how lost I had felt in the past few months of not being a worship leader. The sting of doubt and the stirring of hope blended with the mahogany tone of my voice coming through the speakers.

 The word Grace means unmerited favor.  On the stage overlooking the city park in Earlham, my voice was a beacon of hope. I felt the truth of each word reverberating from my soul. This is when the words and the melody came together and danced from my heart up to the rafters and out into the humid air. This is when the song unfurled with every bit of passion poured out until nothing was left repressed. 

On a final note, I felt spent yet completely free. Amazing Grace, a most common song, became uncommon as the creative gift finally was released. I could see Lydia cheering from the crowd, and I felt the glimmer of joy. I used the creative gift to express my sacred hope. This all came through the unexpected invitation to be in a Karaoke contest. Even if I didn’t win, I knew I had won on the inside.

It is important for all of us to work at the creative passion within. Sometimes it takes teaching someone else how to do the craft. And sometimes it takes just going out and doing the thing even if you feel rusty.  After everyone was done performing they announced the third place, second place, and to my surprise the first place winner: Dianne Singleton.

What? Me?

  It does feel good to win. In life, we don’t always get the chance to enter a contest, but we do have the choice every day to turn on the creative side of our brains and invite childlike wonder. Because of the previous conversation and the music contest, I decided to teach voice lessons again. Not only was it fun to sing, but I know it is a delight to spread that joy to others.

So let’s get singing already!

Thank you for reading! If you like what you have read, please subscribe below to also receive my newsletter. Thank you, Friend!- Dianne