At the Wheel

I have been busy. Like a car engine idling in a traffic jam I am expending energy, but going no where quickly. The days are passing at break neck speed from one obligation to another. I have trouble just slowing down enough to remember what each day holds as I strain to get ready for another big event.

I hate this kind of living, and yet this is my life in the Fall Season. After three months of summer’s loose structure something inside me wants to hit the commitment button. Its almost like the smell of pumpkin spice and the sight of school buses compels me to want to put my name on every sign-up sheet.

The over commitment is closely tied to my insecurity. If I don’t fight to stand on what I am going to be about, I literally will be tossed back and forth into many things that are more time consuming and draining than important to me.

Do you struggle with this too?

Why is it so hard to figure out what I really want? Well, let’s see here: I want to spend time with my children, I want to support my school, I want to serve God, I want to keep time for my husband, I want to share the gifts God has given me. 

All of these desires can feel like a pot of spaghetti :cooked, drained and lying in the pot very sticky. Everytime I go to pick up one string of pasta ten other pieces are pulled up with it. 

Right now my commitment level is high and I feel an inner tiredness, distraction, and obsessive focus on the calendar. I am a mess. 

I keep saying, “It will get better when I am finished with the next commitment, but to be honest that is not true. 

How do we cope in a busy season of life?

I am taking time right now to reflect.

What is going well at the moment and what is not?

When I am busy, what do I have to make sure I hang unto?

What things can I cut out that are not  as important?

By cutting that commitment or activity what do I stand to gain?

These are all hard questions to answer and yet essential to beating over commitment.

“When we take leadership of our lives and commitments by being honest about our limitations we can begin to declutter our commitment list.”

I struggle with the word “no.” I don’t like letting people down, but I also hate what a whimpy “yes” can do. I have lost sleep, family time, and my cool over a frivolous “yes.” These are the commitments we get ourselves into not because we have a passion, or a calling toward the project. This sign-up is the result of pressure or fear. 

I have to practice the word “no.” Rehearsing the reasons why I need to use this word strengthens my resolve even when I know I will feel “bad” in the moment.

I am busy, but I can still put this car in drive and navigate through this season with grace. “No” is not a bad word, it is a treasured word I need to use out of love for myself and my family. I have to face my fear of letting others down. 

But the reality is: 

I can’t keep going at this pace. 

Honesty is power. 

In Matthew 5:37 this what Jesus had to say: “Just say a simple “Yes” I will or “No” I won’t. Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” NTL

Now that I have let that confession sink in, it is time to pray. 

Lord, Jesus I need your help today to slow down. As I look at my calendar there are still many things yet to be done.  But I don’t want to take one more moment for granted. I love my family and I want to take care of myself. Lord ,help me to find my strength in you, and to have the power to say “no” when I need to. Amen!

In faith, I believe I can move forward in a new way and so can you.